Collaborative Ethnographic Research on Contemporary Feminist Spirituality: Fieldwork in the La Loba Gathering
colaborator: Giulia Astori
supervision: Prof. Kim Knibbe
Introduction
In order to gain a deeper understanding of the ways in which religious and spiritual communities, such as neo-paganism, the Wiccan movement, and new-age spiritualities, incorporate ritual practice while also raising questions related to identity, vocation, and lived experiences of collectiveness, we decided to pursue a mixed-method research project that specifically utilized an autoethnographic approach. Our first step was to delve more thoroughly into the existing ethnographic and theoretical literature on religious and spiritual communities. Drawing on ethnographic research literature, we specifically concentrated on how contemporary feminist spirituality navigates its ritual practices to build a sense of community, disseminate activist-oriented content, or simply commemorate a significant day. In addition, the theoretical literature on ritual practice, its historical background, current usage, and definitional issues were taken into account. After the discursive literature review was completed, we began our search for a spiritual community with which we aimed to come into close contact and participate in one of their practices, be it a ritual, a ceremony, or a particular community gathering. Our first aim was to travel to London, as we got in contact with an active Wiccan community located in East London. However, given the little time we had for the study, we had to leave this idea behind and situate our research in a local context. For this reason, we investigated spiritual communities that were active in the North of the Netherlands, yet none of them were doing ceremonies or rituals or executing any particular practice at the time we were conducting our research.
Despite these circumstances, during our literature review phase, we were introduced to Laura Zwissler’s (2018) concept of ritual creativity. The notion of ritual creativity highlights the manner in which individuals and communities adapt, transform, and modify traditional rituals to accommodate and converge contemporary circumstances, individual needs, and shifting cultural contexts. Zwissler’s (2018) ethnographic work presents how these remodelings of rituals indicate that ritual practices are not static but rather continually reimagined and reshaped by participants. Following Zwissler’s (2018) ethnographic writings that explicated how different religious and spiritual communities implement creativity in ritual instigation and performance, we decided to utilize the concept of ritual creativity. This way we were able to instigate our own ritual that would be informed by our theoretical and experiential knowledge.
Considering our time limits, our location, and the likelihood of convergence of our differing though complementary research interests, this approach seemed the most viable to both of us. Taking into account the interest in contemporary and archaic ritual practices as well as the gendered identities in religious communities, it seemed both feasible and stimulating to create a ritual that was informed by both lines of research.
Our ritual was developed in relation to Baltic pagan mythology and practice, for which we decided to focus on a goddess figure Laume. According to Gintautas K. Ivanickas (2013), Laume (plural -Laumes) was considered to be the wife of the thunder god Perkūnas who was accused of her infidelity and was then banished from heaven to earth. Laumes, thus, became the mediators between the earthly and heavenly spheres (ibid.). For this dual nature, the depiction of Laume varies greatly; on the one hand, Laume was considered as an assisting, benevolent entity that may protect humans, while on the other –she was perilous and retaliatory, particularly when unjustly accused or driven by rage (Balsys 2010; Gimbutas 2002). However, this contradictory representation of Laume indicates her profound connection with the natural elements and her complex character, which has the potential to be both harmful and protective. Taking these aspects of Laume and adapting to the contemporary settings of feminist workings, the myth of Laume may be incorporated to address the nuances of female identity and demonstrate how women negotiate social expectations and take back control of their personal narratives. Following this reasoning, our self-made ritual was made specifically for the La Loba gathering –a Groningen-based women’s gathering group that was instigated by one of us in September 2023. La Loba’s main mission and vision is to create a community space for occasional gatherings in which women from various social and cultural backgrounds are invited to share and learn from each other the esoteric knowledge, wiccan practices, and Indigenous wisdom. As La Loba gatherings have already been taking place for a while and have created a sense of community amongst participants, we took thoughtful considerations about how to craft the ritual. Therefore, the ritual was divided into a three-step act; first, writing down the negative statements and imposed conceptions that we had encountered throughout each participant and our –as researchers- lives on a piece of paper. Next, placing papers in a metal pot and bringing it to an environment of nature, burning it, and then scattering the ashes of the charred papers into the water body. Each act was carefully crafted by adapting symbolism and representations of fire and water as being elements of regeneration, re-birth, and flux. Moreover, by situating ourselves within the mindset of ecofeminism, the underlying concept of fire and water being active agents in all things interconnectedness was foregrounded.
Not only did the ritual provide an embodied understanding of ritual practices, but it also expanded on a sense of union and belonging within close community settings. This was particularly evident when –after the ritual was completed– we gathered for a sharing circle with the La Loba participants.
On this note, in this research report, we will outline our methodology, rationale, and actions. Starting with the reasoning behind our choice of mixed-method approach, placing a specific focus on the way we employed autoethnography and participant-observation methodologies. After establishing a methodological structure, we will then provide an explication of our chosen field and the participants. This will lead us to the field report, where we will go into more detail about the results of a sharing circle (focus group) and the questionnaire that was sent out shortly after the gathering. The field report will be compiled from autoethnographic reports and the findings from the sharing circle and the questionnaire. In addition to the research findings, we will then highlight how our autoethnographic findings collided and diverged, placing an emphasis on the collaborative research methodology. After this, we will consider ethical considerations and future implications of our research project. Finally, we will arrive at the conclusion in which we will come to an overall sum of our research findings.
Methodology
In this research project, we tailor a ritual inspired by Baltic Neo-Pagan myths and focus on deconstructing the external impositions historically projected onto women and aim to bring together a collective to discuss, release, and find resurgence. Thus, the following ethnographic study aims to analyze contemporary feminist spirituality and its potential to empower individuals and communities.
Ethnography was chosen for its ability to provide a thorough knowledge of cultural practices and social interactions in their natural setting and opted to use a qualitative ethnographic approach to investigate the dynamics of feminist spirituality in La Loba gatherings. For instance, understanding and conceptualizing the cultural aspect is fundamental to show how contemporary feminist spirituality may empower people and communities by instilling a sense of communal identity and resistance to patriarchal impositions.
The researchers situate themselves in the first person within the study, aligning with Wollcott’s (1987) definition of ethnographic intent, which seeks to understand the cultural setting that underpins the ritual and, consequently, the entire study (Harrison, 2018, 28). In this context, we define culture as the patriarchal ties that women have historically endured. By examining these links we aim to reclaim agency and release participants from patriarchal constraints that have long characterized religious practices.
Furthermore, we contend that contemporary feminist spirituality provides a strong foundation for cultivating feminist consciousness within religious frameworks. By reframing culture in this setting, we emphasize the ritual’s collaborative aspect. This redefinition not only recognizes the experiences of oppression but also highlights the collective struggle to regain agency and develop a sense of unity among individuals.
To illustrate the importance of collective experiences, decision-making, and embodiment, we thus opted for a collaborative ethnographic approach. Through this method, we aim to initiate a dialogue and create new physical experiences that can pave the way for feminist resurgence and showcase the potential of religious practices. In this framework, the researchers collaboratively designed, discussed, and developed the research plan. Although normative definitions of collaborative research define this branch of ethnography as between two or more colleagues, drawing on Lassiter’s contributions, it is also fundamental to expand collaboration to participants (2021, 61). In this light, our fieldwork La Loba, founded upon ideas of community, shared knowledge, and interconnected relationships, informs the collaborative aspect of our research and encourages us to transcend the dual relationship between researchers to include participants as integral contributors.
Additionally, drawing on the chapter on collaborative ethnography for feminist research by Dyer et al. (2022), we underscore the importance of embracing emotions and showcasing vulnerability as researchers. Collaborative ethnography and autoethnography, therefore, hold the potential to continue illuminating social issues beyond the scope of our immediate scholarly work (Dyer et al. 2022, 98).
Integral to this collaborative approach is the role of reflexivity and self-consciousness, which is worth mentioning. According to Berger, reflexivity refers to the engagement in constant self-reflection and critical evaluation of the researcher’s perspective, as well as keeping an active awareness and understanding of how this stance might impact the research process and the results (Harrison 2018, 89). This reflective process maintains the research centered around the dynamics of the group experience, accentuating the significance of shared learning and mutual empowerment in the study. Thus, the implementation of collective autoethnography helps us to distance ourselves from traditional approaches to foster vulnerability within feminist spiritual practices and stimulate discussions around our diverse range of lived experiences and sensations, encompassing both physical and non-physical realms, as essential components of women’s embodied existence.
Because we intend to draw attention to the potential for an understanding of collectivism within feminist spiritual practices while also concentrating on reflexivity, we choose to use mixed approaches to immerse ourselves in the fieldwork. First, we conducted participant observation to situate ourselves within La Loba and gain first-hand perspectives on the participants. To continue, we implemented the sharing circle as a space to manifest reflexivity and the collaborative character of our ethnography. Finally, we used questionnaires to collect individual observations and reflections from participants. Combining methods enables a thorough comprehension of the collective experiences, increasing the breadth and credibility of our findings.
The goal of such a study is to embody the experience and interpreting non-verbal cues as well. Hence, the triangulation of methods was necessary to achieve a clarity that transcends verbal communication. Emphasizing the collective and community aspect is crucial, as relying solely on participant observation would have altered the experience not only for us researchers but also for the participants, making it feel more analytical. By incorporating various methods, such as sharing circles and questionnaires, we ensure that we can produce well-rounded insights and reflections on the ethnographic study. This approach transcends the dichotomy between active and passive participation, with everyone, including the researchers, acting as integral participants within the study.
Finally, a significant aspect of this ethnographic study is the interdisciplinary approach adopted by both researchers. For instance, despite the intersection of their backgrounds and study interests, they ensure that the fieldwork is experienced and analyzed through distinct lenses. Therefore, interdisciplinarity informs the role of feminism in this case. Through our interdisciplinary collaborative approach, we integrate insights from different fields of expertise. Consequently, the interdisciplinary collaboration enhances our feminist approach and allows us to address issues of oppression and resistance, revealing how women in the spiritual setting hosted by La Loba challenge these dynamics.
Thus, we identify our work as feminist ethnography. Davis and Craven (2022) clarify that feminist ethnography lacks a clear definition but is typically concerned with gender dynamics and the interconnections of power and oppression (10). Key features essential for implementing a feminist approach in ethnographic work include demonstrating a feminist sensibility, drawing from feminist scholarship, challenging oppressive power systems, and diverging from traditional academic discourse by emphasizing power relationships in scholarship (ibid, 13). Feminists generate knowledge by evaluating how power acts differently, focusing on women’s experiences and recognizing resistance over oppression (ibid, 14).
In conclusion, our ethnographic research aims to investigate how contemporary feminist spirituality might act as an engine for feminist consciousness and liberation.
Through this shared ritual, we hope to provide a place for women to dismantle patriarchal impositions, recover their agency, and develop emergent paths for feminist resurgence within the framework of religion and rituals and we aim to offer new interpretations of gender dynamics within the spiritual context.
The Field
Following our attempts to find the field of contemporary spiritual community while having time constraints, we decided to utilize a women’s gathering that was initiated by one of us in September 2023. Our premise in doing this was based on the wish to share our crafted ritual with the community that already had some information regarding spiritual practices, and was open to becoming participants in this research project. Moreover, as we aimed toward contemporary feminist spiritual movements, the rationale behind women’s gatherings that are hosted for and by women seemed a plausible choice.
All things considered, it must be noted our position as researchers in this project we take the comprehension of the field as an activity that is situated in a specific environment. This apprehension is informed by Kristen Sharp’s (2022) and Tom Ingold’s (2014) arguments. According to Sharp (2022), the field is “something that is not ‘conducted’ but rather ‘experienced’”(51). On a similar note, Ingold (2014) argues that the field should not be simply taken as a space upon which the researcher enters and does ethnographic research to generate knowledge. Rather, the field should be considered as a dynamic entity that grows and is grown by the relations with others (ibid.). Therefore, our field became the La Loba gathering.
The name for the gatherings is borrowed and inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ book Women Who Run With The Wolfs (1995). In the book, Estés describes La Loba as an evocative figure – the ‘wild’ women archetype– which, when translated from Spanish means "The Wolf Woman" or "The Bone Woman,". This wild woman archetype—a sage and ancient spirit has been closely associated with the cycles of life, death, and rebirth (ibid.). La Loba is described as an old woman who lives in a desolate wilderness and collects bones—particularly wolf bones—in order to preserve things that are in danger of disappearing. Following this depiction, La Loba invites women to form a circle of gatherings in order to share knowledge that comes in line with this woman archetype representation.
Every La Loba event is designed around a particular color that is chosen especially for the occasion. This color coding of the gatherings is based on Carl Jung’s color psychology. According to Jung (2014), universal symbols found in the collective unconscious, known as archetypes, are linked to certain colors. By employing one specific color for each gathering, the intention is to create a sense of togetherness; as the participating women would always adhere to the color code and would come dressed in that specific color. Additionally, before each activity or practice would take place, the participating women would have a collective dinner that would also adhere to the main color. As well as, other decorations, such as candles, and a tablecloth.
Another particular feature of La Loba's gathering was the aspect of sharing esoteric knowledge. In La Loba, the term esoteric knowledge is used as a framework that includes a wide array of spiritual teachings dating to archaic cultures and involving animism, shamanism, Wicca, and other sub-categories of the spiritual movement for which it should not be confused with the popularized notion of esoteric practices being associated solely with the 20th-century Western occultist practices. This reasoning could be better understood through Kocku Von Stuckrad’s (2016) framework in which esotericism is considered to be the search for an absolute but hidden knowledge through mystical vision, higher beings' intervention, or personal experiences connected to something that cannot be fully explained. These explorations of the ‘hidden knowledge’ manifest through practices of astrology, tarot, alchemy, and other mystical direct personal experiences. Following this interpretation and the underlying intention of La Loba gatherings, each gathering provides a specific practice that would be shared. For example, at the very first gathering that took place in September, with thirteen women participating, the initiator of La Loba shared knowledge on herbalism by inviting women to make their own essential oil blends that would act as pomanders. For this, each women were provided with a clean 10ml bottle, and a collection of top, middle, and base notes of essential oils. Upon mixing an individual blend based on individual olfactory perception, the process is guided by introducing the basics of each essential oil's therapeutic qualities, and spiritual associations. During the second gathering of La Loba, in which nine women participated, one of the group members initiated a cacao ceremony. For this, she introduced the significance of cacao in her cultural background of coming from Costa Rica where cacao has been regarded as a sacred raw ingredient used to establish a connection with the natural world and their ancestors, respecting age-old customs and wisdom that has been passed down through the years. As we were getting ready to consume the cacao, the group leader gave a brief explanation of the significance of the cacao and instructed us to form a circle. In the center of the circle, each member was to place an object that held a personal meaning for them, and they were to share this meaning briefly. During the third meeting which took place at the beginning of January, eight women gathered to do a collective tarot constellation reading. For this occasion, each member was asked (if they had one) to bring their own tarot deck. During the gathering, seven women brought their own tarot decks that varied from the classical Rider Waite tarot to more creative new-age tarot decks. The reading took place in a shared circle, where after sharing personal intentions and questions, the women began drawing one card at a time from their own decks on a golden tablecloth, intending to allow the cards to talk between each other.
The general sense that would dwell in the air during each La Loba meeting was the feeling of community, belongingness, and safety to share. This was perhaps easier to establish as each woman was in some sense connected, be it through their occupations, long-term friendships, interest in esotericism, or same/parallel studies. However, since the whole group involves twenty-three members, during each gathering a different set of women would gather. This, nonetheless, created a group dynamic in which friendships were interchanged, and new connections made.
Participants
Members of the La Loba group were invited to participate in this ethnographic research. Twenty-three female members, ages ranging from 24 to 35, from a variety of ethnic and religious backgrounds make up the La Loba group. Eight members of the group showed up for the gathering for this ethnographic research. Most of the women who showed up came from cultural working backgrounds; four were visual artists, one worked as a DJ, and two were curators and cultural event facilitators. While the last was a first-year psychology student. Most of the participants were of European origin; two were German, one Estonian, one Lithuanian, another one Slovakian, one British, and one Dutch participant. The only woman coming from outside of Europe was from Venezuela. None of the attendees at this event identified as religious, which means that none of them adhered to any of the main world religions, including Islam or Christianity. Although the majority grew up in religious families. One person did, however, identify as a follower of Krishna, while the other four mentioned their affinity for Neo-Pagan or Wiccan practices.
The members of the La Loba group were invited through our WhatsApp group with the following message:
Hello lovelies,
upcoming Sunday we have our 4th gathering! First of all, i would just like to express my love to you all for being part of this group and sharing moments and experiences together, it has been most wonderful
For upcoming Sunday, we meet at my place at around 18:30 where i will prepare some delicious healthy (vegan) food, and after that Giulia and i would like to invite you to perform a short pagan ritual for the wellbeing and reclamation of the women’s image in society at large and personally. however, since it is in accordance to pagan traditions, we should perform the ritual outside and when the sun is set, therefore i propose after our dinner, catching up on each others lives, and a brief explanation on our behalf, we could walk to noorderplantsoen (it is 5min walk from my house) and do a little action under the moonlight.
(do not worry, this does not include any so-called ‘black’ magic, rather it is a beautiful ecological ritual for the interconnectedness with nature, goddess figures, and ourselves) for this occasion we dress in sage/green/olive colors for the ones who has not yet been to my place or any previous la loba sessions, do not worry, you are all very much welcome (my address is blank blank blank, entrance through uurwerker’s garden) lastly, please react to this message if you will be coming, this way i can count how many of us will there be and how much food to prepare. Also, if you can’t come at 18:30, do not worry, just let me know.
hope to see as many of you,
lots and lots and lots of love,
see you Sunday
Autoethnographic Reports
I. Field Report
Giulia Astori
Part 1: Personal Experience with La Loba
Giulia Astori
Part 1: Personal Experience with La Loba
My introduction to La Loba occurred around October when I was invited to participate in a Cacao ceremony. Following that, I attended my first La Loba gathering, which was the second event organized by the women’s collective. Since then, I have joined every subsequent event. La Loba has been a transformative collective experience for me, allowing me to open up emotionally, share past experiences and values, and engage in discussions on various topics. The common thread in these meetings has been our shared experiences as women. We often discussed the societal pressures we face and continue to endure, along with other aspects of our identities that intersect with our gender identity. These discussions not only brought forth many exciting observations but also fostered deep, relational connections among us. Regardless of how well we knew each other, participants often allowed themselves to release emotions and share deeply personal experiences. This created a strong bond with the women who participated in the gatherings and the concept of the gatherings themselves. It is important to note that the participants often rotate, meaning that I always meet new people at every gathering. Introducing “strangers'' into an environment that has become familiar to me has never altered my approach. I consistently feel a sense of interconnectedness with the other women, regardless of the type of relationship we establish.
For me, La Loba became a sanctuary where I could explore my spirituality, exchange knowledge with other members, and reclaim parts of my identity that had been suppressed. It provided a safe space for emotional and intellectual growth, fostering a sense of community and mutual support. This experience has been invaluable, reinforcing my connection to the collective and my personal journey. La Loba is also a place where I can merge my academic theoretical knowledge and interest in feminism and contemporary spirituality with practical experience. Here, the mind transcends the body, which becomes the first-hand protagonist. Through this process, I develop embodied knowledge, carrying with me the stories, experiences, and rituals shared with the women of the collective. In this context, embodied knowledge conveys a lived, physical experience of engaging with the collective. This involves more than just intellectual understanding; it encompasses the sensations, emotions, and physical presence that come with participating in the rituals and discussions. This type of knowledge is deeply personal and transformative, as it integrates my academic insights with lived experiences, enriching both my understanding and my sense of self.
Part 2: Gathering, Presentation, Initiation of the Ritual and Personal Experience
June 2nd 2024, Groningen (NL)
The evening began with a gathering at Klaudija’s house, where we prepared food together. We contacted the participants beforehand, asking them to wear green, and to our delight, everyone complied.
We met at 6:30 P.M., with plans to start the ritual once it got dark. This gave us ample time to bond and converse, keeping our discussions unrelated to the ritual. As often happened in previous gatherings, our informal discussions frequently touched upon the idea of what it means to be a woman and our lived experiences within womanhood. Like it was mentioned in the previous section, the aspect of relationality significantly informs La Loba gatherings. In particular, feminist relationality plays a key role, as our conversations and shared environment enable us to create interconnected kinships that transcend our histories of oppression and social impositions as women. I was reminded of Koggel’s work on feminist relationality, in which the author examines and analyzes oppression via numerous associations, including interpersonal, institutional, and systemic (2022, 2). In particular, the researcher emphasizes the emancipatory ability inherent in contemporary feminist relationality. For example, she highlights that this form of relational theory may go beyond theory by providing new ways of thinking about systems of power as represented in norms and institutions, as well as ways of reclaiming agency. (Koggel 2022, 6). My perception of the gathering is greatly shaped by this concept, as discussions with other women often center on power dynamics, privilege, and oppression, both as experienced by individuals and as part of a social group.
Around 10:00 P.M, we decided to introduce the group to our plan for the evening’s ritual. We began by explaining the background that led us to perform a neo-pagan ritual, highlighting its ties to Baltic culture. Moreover, we stressed the importance of the idea of the ritual as a way of reclaiming our identities as women to disrupt and diverge from external social impositions.
The participants seemed excited and engaged, asking many questions during the presentation. We then distributed pieces of paper, asking each person to write down the external impositions placed on them by others, things they were told they could or could not be. This exercise put in practice the aim to emphasize and reclaim our identities, particularly as women, and liberate ourselves from societal constraints that contributed to our self-perception, oppression and experiences in the world.
The writing process took around 15 to 20 minutes. In an instant, the room fell into silence, interrupted only by occasional gasps and the scraping of pens against paper. I disconnected from the outside world and immersed myself completely in the process of writing. After some time, I raised my attention to observe the others, noting their constant concentration on their own letters. I imagined then that each woman present was on a personal voyage of introspection, reliving moments when societal definitions were forced on them. In that shared time of reflection, I experienced comfort and a deep sense of belonging. I returned to a state of concentration, reflecting on moments when my agency was stripped away, and I was compelled to conform to others’ definitions of myself. With each stroke of the pen, I said goodbye to these imposed limitations, feeling a flow of empowerment came over me. Once more, my body, in its rebellion against my mind, emerged triumphing. Interestingly, the sensations evoked in this moment were predominantly physical. The weight that typically burdens my chest and stomach when recalling such memories seemed to lift as I poured my thoughts onto the page. Through the act of writing, I found release, and my body responded with lightness. The first part of the ritual was exceptionally powerful, establishing in me a sense of safety and liberation. Writing with the other women amplified the impact of the experience, instilling a strong sense of belonging to the group. In that shared space, I felt connected not just to their brains but also to their bodies, forming a link between me and them.
Once everyone had finished writing their letters, we informed the participants during our initial presentation that we would walk together to Noorderplantsoen to perform the ritual. There was a sense of unity as we dressed for the walk to the park. Before leaving, we put each letter inside of an envelope, and then placed them in a sage green bucket that we would use later on to burn the letters. We also cut some Lithuanian brown bread, which we prepared to eat after the ritual with the goal of enhancing the collective experience, as well as providing an omen to the deities at the center of our ritual.
Part 3: Ritual, Sharing Circle
3.1. Ritual
As we made our way to the park, conversations buzzed among the participants, ranging from inquiries about the ritual's procedures to unrelated chatter. We arrived at our destination with darkness descending and looked for a small hill within the park. Forming a circle, we placed the green bucket containing our written letters at its center. Each participant retrieved their letter, and without any formal order, we individually consigned it to the flames. The crackling fire was a focal point for our collective introspection, a moment of profound silence that carved itself into my memory, though the exact duration flees my recollection.
Following this moment, we broke the silence to consume Lithuanian brown bread. As per the ritual's design, crafted by Klaudija and myself, we proceeded to disperse the ashes, each of us taking a handful and releasing it into the air, watching as it scattered and merged with the water.
In honour of the belief in water-deities that informed our ritual, we chose to scatter the ashes in a nearby canal, a decision taken collectively over the artificial lakes of the city park. Light-hearted exchanges and laughter characterized our journey towards the canal, reflecting what I believe was a shared sense of liberation and connection.
Upon reaching the canal's edge, we each took a portion of the ashes and scattered them into the canal water, marking the symbolic conclusion of our ritual. We returned to Klaudija's house, where the sharing circle awaited as an opportunity for each participant to articulate their reflections on the experience.
3.2. Sharing Circle
Once we returned to Klaudija’s home, we quickly took off our coats and shoes. Some women decided to serve themselves the green curry leftovers, while Klaudija cut some cantaloupe to share. We then settled in comfortably, with some women sitting on chairs, others on the couch, and some on the floor. We requested verbal consent to record the session, and then we initiated the sharing circle. I began the conversation to break the ice, sharing my approach to the writing process and giving a general overview of what I had written. I explained how I started my letter by addressing the things people said I was not enough of and then moved on to the identities others had imposed on me. Soon, others followed, and the discussion flowed naturally. We listened attentively to each speaker, expressing gratitude for their openness. Many women began their reflections by referencing previous participants' comments, building on them and weaving their own experiences into the conversation. A recurring theme was the embodied sensations triggered by the ritual. We distinguished between feeling in our minds and sensing with our bodies, which resonated with many of us and reinforced a sense of collectivism.
This aspect is of particular interest to me not only because it resonates with my personal experience, but also because, to my surprise, the embodiment and tangibility of past experiences was a recurrent theme for all of us. It is fascinating how the body and mind play such dichotomous roles in the lives of so many women, and how memory can become a bodily experience.
To continue, not every member participated in the discussion; for instance, one person remained silent. Nevertheless, most women were engaged and eager to share their thoughts. We discussed at length how, as women, we are often subjected to external societal impositions that shape both how the world perceives us and how we understand ourselves. Many spoke about "the voices" of people, often loved ones, that defined us and the struggle to free ourselves from these imposed identities.
The recording lasted for approximately 30 minutes. Once we stopped recording, the conversation naturally continued. I appreciated this continuation, as I was concerned that the level of performativity often introduced by external prompts like cameras or phones would become evident.
Part 4: Final Reflections: Feminist Relationality in Contemporary Spirituality
The sharing circle provided information about how the participating women positioned themselves. The themes of care, community, safety, empowerment, and embodiment appeared during our post-ritual conversation. From this first observation, I can conclude that the feminist relational aspect was profoundly present during the gathering. We were all connected by our experiences as women, and we articulated oppression in womanhood as a structural relationship. Instead of focusing on the struggle, the aim of the ritual was to empower and reclaim, creating a network of relationality that emerged from collective consciousness and embodied knowledge. The spiritual context also contributed to the openness with which we approached the ritual, allowing us to access our emotional spheres. Additionally, the role of memory in reliving certain experiences during the writing process of the ritual provided clarity on how the women accessed, through spiritual practices, the embodied feelings that these memories evoked.
II. Field Report
Klaudija Ylaite
Part 1. The Ritual
Klaudija Ylaite
Part 1. The Ritual
On the 2nd of June, eight women showed up, wearing different shades of green color. As the time for the gathering was set for 18:30, eight of the women (from here on participants) arrived on time, while two due to their personal circumstances showed up an hour and a half later. During the first part of the gathering, Giulia and I made a green curry dish, that had green beans, broccoli, courgette, and green curry paste with basmati rice. In addition to the meal, I made a herbal tea blend using mellisa and mint leaves. Later in the evening, one of the participants arrived with eight baklavas filled with pistachios. After dinner, we sat in a circle in which I provided a short story about the significance of the goddess Laume, the notion of ritual practices, the connection between the depiction of Laume and the feminist notion of reclaiming women's identity by empowerment, and the outline of how the rest of the evening would go by describing the ritual's sequential steps. Throughout the briefing, I observed that each participant would periodically nod their head in agreement with the stories and concepts I was telling. In an attempt to enable each participant to identify a part of themselves, I tried to draw comparisons between Laume and other feminine mythical entities from different cultures. This was made more intuitive since, during the course of dinner, a few participants brought up themes related to feminine representations. These included the Lilith myth, the idea that prehistoric societies were matriarchal, and the examples from the second wave of feminist artists who explored these themes in their work.
Shortly after that, each participant received a piece of paper and a pen, indicating the beginning of the ritual. Each participant took a spot in space in order to privately write their stories and experiences. This act took around fifteen minutes to be completed. Even though there was no time limit, the first step was organically concluded when everyone's stories were written, folded, and placed into the metal pot. The second part of the ritual began shortly after when the sun was set. We then put on our coats and walked towards the park. During the walk which took us approximately 10 minutes, the participants walked in pairs, some holding hands, some chatting, while some took on a route of solitude walking alone and in silence. I began to observe the way we, now being a group, walked toward the park. One of the participants made a joke about calling us a coven, as the general overtone of our appearance –being dressed in green with most participants wearing a long skirt– and the contemplativeness being visible on our faces, it was apparent we were not going to the nightclub or any other entertainment business. From this moment on, the intention of the ritual seemed to be set clear in all the participants –including Giulia and myself–. Upon arrival to the park, we walked towards a small man-made hill, away from the main walking paths in order to continue to have our attention to the ritual and our intentions. The deliberate decision to start at the hill-like side was driven by Baltic Pagan activities that frequently took place on mounds. The pagan community would congregate on mounds to rejoice, pray, offer offerings to the gods, and carry out other ceremonial activities (Gimbutas 2002). Mounds also symbolized the idea of being higher up and being closer to heaven, the gods, and spirits. The final place was chosen intuitively; as we all stopped at once and formed a circle without any additional spoken guidance after reaching the top of the small hill-like slope. Giulia was carrying the pot to the park, placed it in the middle of the circle. We then picked our own letters and, using a matchstick to ignite each letter, threw them back into the metal pot to burn. For around fifteen minutes, during this phase of the ritual, very little communication took place between the participants as we all focused on the fire. Some only symbolically complimented the fire, stating that it was collaborating with our objective to help us rid ourselves of those words and sentences we wrote. Shortly after all the letters were burnt and only ashes remained in the metal pot, we shared a piece of black rye bread that I still had from the time I visited Lithuania. In Baltic Pagan ritual practices the symbolism of black rye bread was used during rituals, as members of the community would eat the bread together to strengthen communion and solidarity (Žiemys 2012). It also was a symbol for making a spiritual connection with the gods and ancestors. Eating black rye bread was a gesture of devotion to the goddess Laume for this ritual; according to some folktales, one should bring milk, honey, and black rye bread to the water's edge where Laume is typically found in order to indicate one adoration of her (Balsys 2010). However, instead of leaving the black rye bread as an offering, we consumed it as an act of harmonizing ourselves with Laume’s identity.
Afterward, the third phase of the ritual took place for which we then walked towards the city’s canal to spread the ashes into the water. The particular spot was suggested by the two participants who during the first La Loba gathering went to this spot to throw an egg into the water as a sign of release. Without any objections, we all walked following them. In the five minutes that the walk lasted, more participants joined in the silent, solitary stroll. The others walked holding hands, expressing the emotions that surfaced during the act of burning. As I walked in silent solitude, I heard one of the participants describe entering into an “altered state” during the burning ceremony, saying it appeared mystical given that it was particularly dark where we burned the letters and empowering owing to our group energy. Upon arrival at the canal’s side, Giulia instructed each to take a handful of ashes into their hands and come close to the border of the canal. We then lined up, held out our palms full of ashes toward the canal, and intuitively released the ashes to flow into the canal waters. While the weather conditions were windy, some ashes flew into the air but this did not affect the ritual act. Shortly after this final phase of the ritual, there was a collective release of laughter and joy shared around the participants; as we hugged one another, and collectively agreed that the ritual is now finalized.
We then arrived back at my house and in an informal manner began a sharing circle. In order to facilitate a safe space to share participants' experiences Giulia and I requested that this conversation be recorded. After every participant gave consent to be recorded, I pressed a recording button on my phone, and Giulia opened a circle of sharing. During the sharing circle, most of the participants first shared what they had written down in their letters and then proceeded to talk about the significance of this ritual. The words that kept coming up in relation to what each participant wrote about their experiences had to do with how they thought that women's representation in society is predicated on the idea that they are frequently seen as either exceeding or falling short of social expectations. As well as the memories of childhood years and the coming into womanhood were mentioned as the moments of first-time impositions that were told to them. These instances resonated with me as they made me realize how women have been oppressed by patriarchal systems, which has not only left us with intrusive ideas of "not enough, too much," but also how, occasionally, our very close-knit community would unconsciously use the language of oppression. Women seem to have been forced to view themselves through the prism of patriarchal norms as a result of these utterances, which summon them into particular social identities and expectations.
However the majority of participants—including Giulia and myself—shared another important realization: we have all, to some extent, let go of the societal image that has been thrust upon us. Even while we all agreed, we additionally discovered that even though these impositions have been debunked and dismissed in our minds, they continue to reside in our bodies. This duality in our understanding and lived experiences indicated the shortcoming of Western-based knowledge; as one of the participants mentioned her grave disappointment in Western medicine, particularly that of psychology. According to the participant, western psychology focuses on treating the mind underscoring the importance of bodily memories. This made me think of the Cartesian understanding of humans which comprises the body as an objectified instrumental being to be left secondary and views the mind as the rational, transcendental part of our unique existence. Leading to the comprehension of this mind-body duality, Donna Haraway’s (1988) theorization of situated knowledge becomes especially relevant to address this dichotomy. The notion of situated knowledge, according to Haraway (1988) is a framework that emphasizes the importance of situated, embodied perspectives in the production of knowledge which challenges the premise of objective, detached knowledge. This comes in line with the participants' realization that even while we reject society's impositions on our thinking processes, we nevertheless carry these experiences physically.
When it came to the sharing part where the experience of the ritual was mentioned, all of the participants shared a positive attitude. Two of the participants mentioned how their idea of the concept of rituals comes from a deep understanding that such embodied acts carry the power of transformation. They also mentioned how ritual practices seem to derive from ancient practices that in contemporary societies have been harshly forgotten or commodified. What particularly stood out in these sayings from the participants was an agreed notion of ritual practices not being thoughtfully considered. In this sense, what performing this particular ritual made us all realize is the way our intentional act when placed in a specific context gets embodied through ritual act. In regards to this, one of the participants commented that perhaps through ritual practice we are able to erase the societal impositions from our bodies; as rituals appear to be bodily language and communication. Personally, hearing these interpretations of the ritual experience strengthened my appreciation for the act of rituals itself—as if this intentional act gradually transcends and integrates our thoughts through significant actions.
Part 3. Concluding Remarks
Lastly, the ritual act integrated an aspect of personal stories through collective action. During our sharing circle, we discovered that the things we wrote down to burn and detach from ourselves were almost identical. This shared experience provided insights into how our embodied narratives become elevated through collective action. In light of this, the participants carried on having intimate conversations about their experiences even after the sharing circle ended. As I kept observing, I noticed that the participants' emotional states had shifted in regards to before and after the ritual. While the underlying sense of union was present from the beginning of the gathering, after the ritual it became more foregrounded. Following the ritual and sharing circle, the participants gave each other tender embraces and hugs, displaying a more evident manifestation of their body language. Moreover, the participants were looking forward to the upcoming days to see how they would feel. For this reason, Giulia and I decided to create a follow-up questionnaire with basic questions, such as “What emotions did you feel during the ritual, and how did they evolve throughout the experience?” and “Did you find any particular part of the ritual especially meaningful or impactful? If so, which part and why?”. The questionnaire was motivated by our inquiry into whether the ritual had any effect at all, and if so, what kind of effect it had on the participants. It would also seem that their conscious participation can be determined by how they recollect the ritual a week later.
Collective Findings
1. Questionnaire
1. Questionnaire
During the week following the ritual, after transcribing the recordings from the sharing circle, we decided to prepare a short questionnaire. This questionnaire contained tailored questions that addressed points we found particularly relevant during the ritual and the writing of our field notes. In these notes, we also had the opportunity to reflect on the aims of the ritual. We distributed the questionnaire to all participants through our WhatsApp group, but we only received four responses out of eight. The questionnaire was prepared using Google Forms with eight questions and was titled La Loba Gathering: Neo-Pagan Ritual. We provided a brief description of the task, which read as follows:
"As a follow-up to our ritual that took place on Sunday, June 2nd, we would appreciate it if you could answer the following questions to reflect on your experience and perception of the ritual."
Participants highlighted the background of the ritual, recalling its ties to Lithuania and European witchcraft. Additionally, they emphasized the concept of letting go as a means to find empowerment. They further described the ritual as involving different steps:
- an introduction to the ritual's background and neo-paganism
- writing down negative influences or memories
- burning these writings in a group setting
- consuming bread to signify closure
- releasing the ashes into a body of water
“We dressed up in sage green/olive green clothing and wrote down in a letter negative perceptions/opinions/expectations that were put on us through others. After that we walked into the nearest nature (a city park) where we found a spot to stand together in a circle and burn each letter in a metal bucket, after that we shared some sweet black bread and went to let go of the ashes in the canal nearby and returned. Over some tea (Linden?) we shared our experiences and memories connected to the letter we wrote.”
Moving on, in one of our questions, we aimed to emphasize the significance of the collective aspect that shaped both our ritual and the writing process. Participants unanimously agreed that the collective aspect strengthened the experience among women and fostered a safe space characterized by unity and continuous support. Words such as ‘union’, ‘strength’, and ‘support’ were used in describing participants' feelings regarding the collectiveness of the ritual.
Moreover, in regards to what was brought up during the sharing circle –the emphasis on the brain-mind binary– the fourth question in the questionnaire aimed at addressing this aspect. However, either the question was not designed coherently or the participants might have misinterpret it, as their answers were rather short and dull, with one of the participants stating: “Maybe I don’t understand the question”. Regardless, another participant seemed to have corrected the misunderstanding of the questions and wrote: “What I remember is the difference between knowing (in the brain) and feeling (in the body/heart) the writing - burning - transformation - letting go - the water taking it is what helped embody what was felt/known”.
Throughout the ritual, participants' emotions ranged from joy and empowerment to introspection and a sense of community, demonstrating the significant influence of the ceremony. This idea was further supported by the sixth question on the questionnaire, which examined the significance and effects of the ritual. The majority of participants indicated that the burning part of the ritual gave a sense of empowerment, with one participant beautifully expressing it as “Somehow seeing the flames eat up all the bad things in the paper felt freeing and empowering”. Additionally, the environment of the ritual being situated in the city and city’s park was perceived positively. Since the apartment has been a usual space for La Loba gatherings it provided a sense of safety and familiarity, while the walking and proceeding with the ritual in the park allowed a more tangible connectedness with natural elements. According to one participant, going to the park offered them a sense of grounding, which made them appreciate the ritual more deeply.
Finally, it appeared that the responses to the questionnaire mirrored what was said that had been discussed in the sharing circle that preceded the ritual. Through the sharing circle and answers, the ideas of feminist relationality—such as emotional support and care for one another, empowerment when in community, and a feeling of safety to share and open up with personal experiences—were reaffirmed. We came to understand that the aforementioned feelings and experiences were preserved after the ritual and the gathering as a whole of the experience. Finally, a crucial discovery throughout the entire survey was the participants' common positive attachment to the ritual; not a single one of them reported feeling alone or unwelcome, nor was there any sign that the rituals’ aftereffect were negative in any manner.
2. Collaborative Discussion
As we place ourselves in the research using a collaborative approach, we are obliged to evaluate its implications. According to May et al. collaborative ethnography is a methodology that not only increases the amount of data collected but also improves our reflective contributions by including our own experiences as well as those produced via cooperation. (May et al. 2000, 66). The method of integrating collaborative ethnography in this study is based on our desire to communicate our divergent and common autoethnographic research findings, resulting in a dynamic study that incorporates the perspectives of both researchers in addition to the data that was collected. Therefore, in this section, we will present how our autoethnographic reports collided and diverged. More so, we will bring back how our findings from the literature review could be incorporated into this research project.
First, we begin with the parallels that emerged in our autoethnographic sections. The idea of gendered identities and how they function in society, as well as the lived experiences of women, were among the fundamental components. Both of us have discovered that designing the ritual in line with Laura Zwissler's (2018) concept of ritual creativity—which highlights the way contemporary spiritual communities employ and modify traditional rituals to conform to contemporary living—supported the sharing circle discussion on how rituals strengthen female participants' feelings of empowerment and collectivity. As our ritual was designed in accordance with the already present women's collective, whose primary goal has been to establish a safe place for women to share their experiences as being identified as women their holistic understanding of embodied practices, we tried to incorporate symbolic elements of ritual traditions that would meet the needs of the La Loba participants. One such example of this was our use of the Baltic pagan goddess figure as an essential point. In this way, the participants seemed to confirm that our custom-made ritual remained relevant in contemporary society.
Moreover, we also found that the notion of mind-body binary that was brought up in both the questionnaire and the sharing circle could be interpreted through Christine Bell’s (2009) notion of ritualization that points to the way thought and action becomes reintegrated in the act of ritual. To elaborate, for Bell (2009) ritualization presents how ritual action diverges itself from other activities through specific social dynamics and the formation of collective identities. In this sense, as the participants reported and we –as research collaborators– highlighted in our autoethnographic parts, our self-made ritual instigated an embodied experience where our thoughts of wanting to reclaim our female identities as sites of empowerment were expressed through particular actions –that of writing, burning, and scattering ashes into water. More specifically, since the concept of ritualization refers to how one particular activity differs from ordinary activities (Bell 2009), this La Loba gathering stood out from a typical women's collective gathering given that its primary activity was a ritual. In this sense, what we both consolidated was that this self-made ritual not only prioritized the feminine empowerment through embodied action but it also presented how our collective consciousness was shared amongst the participants and us. To elaborate, by drawing on Ali Walker's insights into the interrelationship between collective consciousness and gender, we define collective consciousness as a “reflective, social activity developed through language, group communication, collective representations, institutional and cultural arrangements, and processes of self-reflexivity” (Walker, 2018, p. VII). Following Carl Jung’s concept of the collective self, we discuss collective consciousness as the integration of conscious and unconscious mechanisms that foster a shared awareness within a collective or group.
In our fieldwork, we positioned ourselves as proactive participants to deeply engage in the experiences and cultivate knowledge rooted in collective consciousness through our shared experiences as women. This process and understanding further strengthen the interconnected relationship between self-reflexivity, represented in our research through the autoethnographic approach, and shared awareness, demonstrated by our collaborative approach. This mutual and ongoing relationship between researchers and members of La Loba underscored the depth of our exploration.
However, as we both come from different interests and research within our scholarly endeavors, it becomes worth paying attention how our ethnographic fieldnotes diverged. Our scholarly positionality, which was influenced by both gender studies and ritual studies, was the most obvious factor to emerge from the way our study focus slightly departed. To elaborate, within the framework of gender studies, the possibility of a feminist resurgence was emphasized. In this sense, a primary emphasis was placed on the ways in which ritual enhanced a sense of collectiveness that led to feminine empowerment. In contrast, the framework of ritual studies explored the modes and uses of rituals in greater detail. In a sense, the theoretical framework derived from ritual studies guided the execution of a ritual as an essential component of this research; as we leaned back to Zwissler’s (2018) notion of ritual creativity, and prepared the ritual in accordance to Baltic pagan customs. Our diverging interest was also visible in the way we looked at the outcomes of self-made ritual. While the ritual studies framework placed great emphasis on the embodiment and the ways in which ritual's particular components were experienced, the gender studies framework concentrated on the participants' emotional states both during and after the ritual.
Having these divergent focus points in mind, our different scholarly structures enabled us to collaborate within the context of feminist spirituality to evaluate research findings from these two angles in greater depth. Although it could seem like a drawback in a collaborative ethnographic research project given that we might lack knowledge on each other's research interest, this component ended up being a strength of ours. The strength of collaborative research, according to May et al. (2000), is the inevitable differences among the collaborating researchers; however, it is how they work together to compromise and have confidence in one another's conclusions that makes the research more versatile and informed from a variety of scholarly angles. However, despite the differences in our academic backgrounds that affected how we emphasized study findings, what brought us together was our shared interest in finding remedies to address women's positionality in contemporary culture.
Having said that, the collaborative nature of this ethnographic study revealed how, despite working in the same field and actively participating in the research—by taking part in the ritual and sharing our own experiences as participants—we adopted different frameworks but consistently agreed on the overarching objective of fostering feminine empowerment and a sense of collectivity through the use of such a ritual practice within women's collectives.
Ethical Considerations and Limitations
Taking part in the ritual and already being comfortable with some of the women at the La Loba gathering on June 2nd significantly influenced how we positioned ourselves within the ritual. Although the collective aspect was a significant constant before, during, and after the ritual, we had to focus on our own emotional reactions to provide insightful reflections and descriptions during the writing process. We believe that we would have experienced the ritual differently if we had not planned to conduct an ethnographic study.
Since the researchers come from interdisciplinary approaches that touch upon themes such as gender studies, ritual studies, and environmental humanities, our observations are greatly informed by our academic background. However, we do not think this detracted from the genuineness of the process. Instead, it made the researchers more aware of the potential that contemporary feminist spirituality has for deconstructing patriarchal traditions and empowering individuals who have experienced systemic oppression. As well, it allowed us to acknowledge how the ritual practice may foster a more embodied sense of understanding and transcending our lived experiences. These diverse expertises and positionalities significantly shape the collective aspect of our research, but they raise questions about the ethical conditions that we should implement.
For instance, the topic of consent and collective decision-making was fundamental to our ethnographic research. In order to ensure a fair exchange between the researchers, the institution (University of Groningen), and the participants, we prepared consent forms in which we informed the participants that they could ask questions, withdraw from the study at any time, and refuse to answer questions without consequence. In the form, we explained that participants can choose whether their personal information and real names will be used in the research. The form further required signatures from both the participant and the researchers, and participants additionally received contact information for any questions or concerns.
Although this process highlights the importance of informed consent, we had to engage with other risks of doing ethnography. For instance, Himika Bhattacharya discusses that ethnography can be “dangerous” because it requires the researcher to consider their positionality, including gender, race, cultural background, and class, to ensure a fair process for all parties involved (Bhattacharya 2008, 304). In our collaborative autoethnography, ethics become even more complex as we, the researchers, are active participants in the study, moving away from the traditional role of the scholar as the observer. Bhattacharya notes that ethnographers become value-inclusive when they gain full awareness of the subjectivities informing their opinions and experiences, as well as their objectivity as scholars (Ibid 2008, 312). Drawing on Bhattacharya’s work, we highlight the evident connection between our approach and self-reflexivity, using our stories and positionalities as crucial parts of our research. Similarly, according to Denzin and Lincoln, reflexivity encourages us to analyze the entire picture: the topic of study, the individuals we develop relationships with and interview, ourselves, and our own identity as researchers (2011, 246).
In addition, it is crucial to note the limitations of our study. Firstly, the research was conducted on a single day. Extending the study to multiple sessions while building our community, La Loba, and repeatedly conducting the ritual could have reinforced the sense of collectivism and empowerment experienced during the ritual. Additionally, a longer study period would have facilitated the development of more robust relationships between the researchers and participants, potentially leading to richer and more nuanced insights. Moreover, as previously discussed, the La Loba WhatsApp group chat contains 23 members, but only 8 participants joined the gathering. Although the number of participants was not a primary focus of our study, having more participants would have ensured a more diverse range of experiences. This could have enriched our discussion by highlighting potential differences related to cultural and religious backgrounds, ethnicity, race, or age groups.
Conclusion
Our mixed-method research project, employing an autoethnographic approach through a triangulation of methods that included participant observation, sharing circles, and a questionnaire, has provided a deeper understanding of how women-led spiritual communities foster self-reflection on themes such as identity and rituality. During this research, we have gained valuable insights into the dynamic interplay between spirituality and community-building within the La Loba gathering. The ethnographic approach highlighted the importance of self-reflexivity, the positionality of researchers and participants, and the sense of collectivism reinforced through ritual instigation.
To further explore rituals, contemporary spirituality, and feminism, we designed and conducted a custom ritual inspired by Neo-Paganism and informed by Baltic traditions. In this process, we utilized Zwissler's (2018) concept of ritual creativity to emphasize the need for ritual practice that are in adherence to contemporary living conditions. As well as, embracing an embodied way of understanding lived experiences that in this case stem from external impositions that have been historically projected on women. By collectively performing our self-made ritual with La Loba members, we aimed to reimagine the spiritual context as a community, promoting shared awareness and experiences that led us to feel a sense of empowerment.
Furthermore, the collective consciousness generated by the gathering and ritual practice, along with the inherent process of reflecting on our emotions, fostered a shared sense of community, trust, and safety. This reflexivity revealed the different layers that composed the collaborative and autoethnographic approach, as the researchers, we maintained active awareness of the potential impacts the study could have on both the scholars(us) and the participants. Consequently, the role of group experience and the generation of mutual empowerment significantly influenced our fieldwork, leading us to situate ourselves not only as the ones conducting research but rather being in full focus on experiencing and embodying the field.
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An image taken during the last part of the collective ritual